Man Attempts To Skip Court By Handwriting His Own Doctor’s Excuse

Based on the headline alone, do you think this story is from Florida or Ohio?

Ding, ding, ding! It’s Ohio today, folks!

Troy Hightland, 30, from Salem, Ohio had a probation hearing at the Columbiana Municipal Court coming up and he got the bright idea to write himself a doctor’s excuse to get out of it.

By hand.

With terrible grammar.

According to his letter on June 10 from “Dr. Wong,” Hightland claims that he was taken to Akron General Hospital in Akron, Ohio because his throat was “the size of a golf ball.” He was placed on an I.V. and was unable to speak.

“My name is Dr. Wong. I have Troy Hightland in Akron general. He was brot up here because his throat was a size of a golf ball. He can’t talk we have him on an I.V. We are keeping him intill June 24th. He will be out we hope. He is sleeping most of the time. Sorry I did not have time to tipe this out. I have a lot of pashents today.”

Nine days later Hightland was arrested on warrant for failure to appear. He continued to support the story that Dr. Wong was his physician and that his throat was the size of some sporting equipment.

Florida. You’re on the clock.

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