With the First Pick in the 2009 NFL Draft…

Mel Kiper may lose his job this year with continuing to publish 37 mock drafts within the few months leading up to the April draft and still only getting 40% of the top 10 correct yet continues to sit on national television acting like he is a professional guru at this stuff and getting paid while I’m on the couch eating ramen noodles wearing a cut off. Let’s take a look at his first mock draft of the year…








Matthew Stafford




St. Louis

Andre Smith




Kansas City

Mark Sanchez





Michael Crabtree


Texas Tech



Aaron Curry


Wake Forest



Jason Smith





Jeremy Maclin





Eugene Monroe




Green Bay

Malcolm Jenkins


Ohio St.


San Francisco

Aaron Maybin


Penn St.

This guy actually gets paid for this crap. Let’s take a look at the Struthers edition Volume 1 Mock Draft..

My pre-Combine thought…

1. Detroit. Matthew Stafford is not Sam Bradford who would be in contract discussions at this point. There is no reason for them to use one of their plethora of draft picks this year on Stafford. They do need a Quartback, that is obvious, but once again there are too many in this years draft to select from. Look for them to scoop someone up in the 2nd to 3rd round in a Graham Harrel or Chase Daniel. With a new front office and coaching staff, this team will turn into a shotgun offense and CJ will put up 15 tds and 1200 yards. If they have learned anything from the Browns with Joe Thomas and the Dolphins with Jake Long they will start off on the right foot.Pick…Andre Smith OT Alabama

2. St. Louis. This is where Stafford will land. The Rams have plenty of troubles to attend to but don’t have 48 picks like Detroit and can’t afford to pass on Stafford at this point. Pick..Matthew Stafford QB Georgia

3. Kansas City. Rebuilding year duece for the Queefs. They addressed a ton of positional needs in last years draft. Yes, they are hurting for a quarterback but I believe just like Detriot can afford to wait on a quarterback until a later round. They need to get their team chemistry back and that starts with making Tony Gonzales happy and will do so with an explosive playmaker to take under his wing. Pick…Michael Crabtree WR Texas Tech

4. Seattle. I forgot they were even a team anymore. Hasselbeck gave up gameplanning to shoot protein shake commercials long ago. Seneca Wallace should be returning punts and Frye should be making fries and chicken wings at a bowling alley. We all know where this is going.Pi
ck…Mark Sanchez QB USC

5. Cleveland. They have all the right tools but Romeo was too busy auditioning for the Biggest Loser Season 8 than running an offense. Braylon and I’m a soldier Winslow need to take charge and step up or this team will be in the dumps for years to come. The ball will be in Brady’s hands this year. They will add a lineman later on and a 2nd round running back and send Jamal Lewis to weightwatchers and a nice retirement home. Right here they need a leader on defense that actually gives a shit if the team is getting burnt. Pick..Aaron Curry LB Wake Forest

6. Cinci. If they have a chance of ever being a contender they need to protect their QB. There are two prospects at this point. Smith and Monroe. Mels got Smith going here. This is going to be another combine toss up. Smith has had MCL trouble in the past. Monroe is an inch taller, 15 pounds heavier and stronger and has faced tougher competition. Pick..Eugene Monroe OT Virginia

7. Oakland. Is there a kicker still available at #7? If so give him a raiders jersey. Oakland SHOULD take Jeremy Maclin here. But we all know that well they draft like big retards consistantly. I’d like you all to take a gander back a few seasons where they drafted Huff over offensive playmakers. Well guys get ready for some déjà vu. Maclin is talented but too young. They’ll go with experience over explosiveness on this pick. Pick..Malcom Jenkins CB Ohio State

8. Jacksonville. Disappointment is the only thing that comes to mind when I think about this team. This is going to be a pick to sweat over with Maclin on the board still. Absolute playmaker. WR isn’t the source of the Jags problems. Who has dared to add a Jacksonville TE to their fantasy team??? Well its about time. Pushing 6’6 and 260lbs. A catching, blocking, felony assaulting and police battery machine.Pick…Brandon Pettigrew TE Ok State

9. Green Bay. Maclin is sweating worse than Quinn at this point. Someone get him a wave cap and a towel because hes not walking up on that stage just yet. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJ Hawk is gonna get a chubby over this one. What would boost his game and allow him to be a true leader on that defense than the next Demarcus Ware. He has the size and speed to play DE and OLB.Pick…Aaron Maybin DE Penn State

10. San Fransicso. Someone grab Maclin a juice box. They got into a groove towards the end of the year. Need protection still. Should take Smith. Singletary is all about his defense. Orakpo is waiting for his phone to ring then Singletary takes his pants off and selects someone that’s stock is going to go through the roof after the senior bowl and combine.Pick..B.J. Raji DT Boston College

After my picks land and Kiper bows down to me, You’ll see me and my boy McShay on Espn next year. But check out Kipers WNBA 2010 Mock Draft. Check this link out to share my hatred.

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