The Random Thoughts of a Helpless/Depressed Michigan Fan

chubbsFor those of you who may not know me, my name is Chubbs, and I am a diehard Michigan fan who grew up in Ohio and currently lives in Columbus, Ohio.  Yea I know what you’re thinking, “what happened to this guy? Was he dropped on his head when he was a kid?” In fact, that same question is sometimes the answer my family (who are all buckeye fans) gives when someone asks why I am a Michigan fan.  To answer that frequently asked question (FAQ) is quite simple actually:


  1. I fell in love with the helmets when I was a kid, (you know they’re awesome).
  2. Glenn Rice led the Big Blue to the 1989 basketball National Championship.
  3. The Fab Five (probably the most controversial and fun team to watch, ever).
  4. I figured out it pissed my Dad off (sorry Dad), and
  5. Well, at that time Michigan was dominating the football series between the two storied programs (the good old days, thanks John).

My have the tables been turned on me and every Michigan fan since the 1990’s.  Since the Charles Woodson-led Michigan team won the National Championship in 1997, Michigan fans have had little to cheer about.  Here are a few things that may or may not haunt me everyday as a UM fan (in no particular order):

  1. NCAA sanctions that basically brought down the Michigan Basketball program.
  2. Ohio State basketball has somehow become a national power and has made it to two final fours including a national championship game, the latter compliments of the “Unbreakable” Greg Oden.
  3. Jim Tressel.
  4. Ohio State winning the 2002 National Championship thanks largely to a former AAU teammate of mine, Maurice Clarett.
  5. Ohio State’s Big Ten dominance.
  6. Appalachian State (one of the drunker days in my life) and Toledo.
  7. The Rich Rod transition period.
  8. This year’s Michigan’s defense or lack thereof.
  9. Did I mention Jim Tressel? (at least he’s a Youngstown guy)
  10. I can go on forever, but I won’t bore you or give you the satisfaction (if you are an Ohio State fan) of listing more miserable moments that ruin my life.

dick-rodNow that I’ve reflected on the past, present, and why I am completely miserable San Diego, its time to look at what is sure to be a murky future for my beloved team.  The elephant in the room growing larger everyday is Richard Rodriguez (aka “DickRod” to a majority of OSU fans).  Should he get another year or should Michigan cut their losses and admit they were wrong to hire him?  In short, I THINK* Rodriguez should get another year due to the fact that his offense has proven to be electric when clicking on all cylinders.  The offense’s success is a product of continuity and Denard Robinson (awesome).  Denard is a true sophomore and will only improve over the next two years.  On the contrary, the special teams and defense are just down right terrible.  There are several contributing factors to why they are so bad, to name a few; transfers, injuries, bad recruiting, and attrition.  However, I also am not naïve and think that it is all just bad luck and because of the reasons set out above.  Coaches, especially head coaches, have to be held accountable for the entire team’s performance.  Therefore, if RichRod was canned I couldn’t really argue with the decision especially if God (aka Jim Harbaugh) was brought in to coach his alma mater. In the end I think Rodriguez will be given another year and the entire defensive staff will be canned before the bowl game or shortly thereafter. Admittedly, this will only lead to another offseason of hope and uncertainty.

While most of this may have sounded like a bunch of whining to you (and believe me it was), let me remind you that I am and always will be a proud Michigan fan no matter what the circumstances are.  If I can make it through the past decade as a fan, I can make it through anything. I will always hate the Buckeyes but I never will lose sight of the respect between the two legendary programs.  Even though it hasn’t been one lately, make no mistake about kids, this is the greatest rivalry in all of sports and I’m damn proud to be a small part of it. 

So while I’m sitting in the Horse Shit Shoe this Saturday with my Michigan apparel on and watching the same movie I’ve already seen 4 times this year, I want Ohio State fans who are reading this to take a moment and think of how miserable I am and then promptly cheers your fellow Buckeye next to you and say, “God, I’m glad I’m not that poor Michigan fan Chubbs (FOR NOW),” because these truly are the best of times to be a FU*KEYE FAN.  (OSU-41  MICH-28, not again!)   GO BLUE!

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