Congratulations Chris Johnson – Now Stop Being an Idiot

Congratulations to Chris Johnson on breaking the 2,000 yard mark this season – it truly is a special season for you.  Whether or not you end up buying your lineman cars is still to be seen.  But this talk of you racing Usain Bolt to see who is the world’s fastest man might be the stupidest idea since Crystal Clear Pepsi.  We can skip the whole race and determine the winner right now…..Usain Bolt.  Bolt earned the world’s fastest man title by destroying everyone at the 2008 Summer Olympics and shows no signs of losing his title.  Bolt currently holds the records for both 100m and 200m and could possibly out run a horse.  I understand the race would be for charity, but unless Johnson was allowed a head start or driving a car, Bolt will win handily.  If Vegas puts odds on this race, Bolt will be going off at -600 and I will find a way to pool all the life savings of all Thunder Treats authors and lay it on Bolt. 

In all seriousness, Johnson’s only chance would be if they shortened the race to 60m (which Johnson wants before he will agree to running the race), in which I would probably still bet on Bolt.  My advice to Johnson would be to buy all your lineman cars, go to the club a couple times and make it rain and enjoy coming into next season as the consensus #1 draft pick in all fantasy football leagues.  Don’t let your ego get in the way and allow yourself to be embarrassed on the tail end of one of the greatest individual performances in NFL history. 



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