Big Ten releases new logo and division names, vomiting ensues

Today the Big Ten unveiled its brand new logo and division names that will overtake the conference in 2011-12.  Promptly, everyone in the Midwest threw up on their collective keyboards or laps.

The new logo is something that looks like it was done by a 6th grader that was competing in a contest for a pizza party for his home room.  The fact that the Big Ten hired, and paid, an international design group to design this logo is mind boggling.  Furthermore, designers Michael Bierut and Michael Gericke of Pentagram should be fired if they haven’t already.  This logo is plain as it is boring.  I see what they tried to do.  They tried to keep the number “10” in the word “BIG” as a reference to where the conference came from.  What I don’t understand is how you go from a logo where your number of teams was shown (11) and revert back to showing a number 10 when you add a team?  Another thing that induced vomiting was the color scheme.  There isn’t a uniform in the Big 10 that sports the aqua color that we have been subjected to so why should the logo? It looks as though these clowns forgot that their presentation was due to the board and they scribbled out the words “Big” and “Ten” on a bar napkin (explains why one is on top of the other) and this is what they came up with.  The logo is pure shit and I wouldn’t be surprised if they changed it before next year.  To persuade the board, I came up with 3 different logos for them to choose from.  I like the third one.

If you thought that was the only boneheaded play the Big Ten committee had in their playbook today then you were sadly mistaken.  We all know that with the conference expanding we are going to finally get a championship game.  In order to do that, we need to split the conference into two divisions where the champion from each division would play each other for the conference title.  Normally we have division named after their geographic location.  For example the Big 12 has the North and South while the ACC has the Coastal and Atlantic divisions.  The Big Ten once again shit down their leg when they decided to name their new divisions the “Legends” and the “Leaders”. 

Legends              Leaders

Iowa                         Illinois

Michigan                  Indiana

Michigan State        Ohio State

Minnesota                Penn State

Nebraska                  Purdue

Northwestern          Wisconsin

Not only is this one of the dumbest moves I have seen in sports since Brett Favre got the unlimited picture mail plan, but it is inconvenient.  I say inconvenient because no one wants to be known as the “Big Ten Legends Champion” or the “Big Ten Leaders Champion”.  It sounds like an award you win for climbing the rope at summer camp.  If that wasn’t bad enough, a conversation about the standings could become something that would resemble an Abbott and Costello clip.

“Ah, we are a game back in the Leaders”

“Oh you’re in the Leaders?”

“No, Illinois are the leaders”

“What about Iowa?”

“They’re leading the Legends”

“What? I thought Illinois were the leaders?”

“They are in the Leaders”

“But what about Iowa?”

With the way fans from the Big Ten tailgate, these kinds of conversations can go on and on and on.  I know that the geography doesn’t matchup to be able to call these divisions “East” and “West” or “North” and “South” but we also live in a College Football world that has Louisiana Tech in the Western Athletic Conference and TCU in the Big East.  Basically the Big Ten over thought this entire situation and the result is the big steamy pile of shit they served us today.  Here are some other options Thunder Treats has come up with that are just as good, if not better, than what the Big Ten puked up today.

Heads and Tails Divisions

Peanut Butter and Jelly Divisions

Superman and Lex Luther Divisions

Clarett and Koulianos Divisions

Acorn and Nut Divisions

Kanye West and East of Chicago Pizza Divisions

Also released were the names of the trophies that will be given out.  They basically read like the last names of broads that have been married more than once.  All 18 trophies are named from two greats from Big Ten history.  For example the Big Ten Championship will be known as the Stagg-Paterno Championship trophy.

I would like to have 5 minutes with the board members who sat at a table and all agreed this was a good idea.  I want to know their thought process on the whole thing.  They have essentially given more fuel to the “make fun of the Big Ten” bonfire that is burning in the other big conferences.  They went entirely too far out on a limb when trying to be creative and the result is a giant mess.  I don’t know how they will fix this but I just pray that they do something.  I can live with the trophy names but the logo and the division names need amended.  Quickly.

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