A Letter to Fireman Ed, Jets Fan Leader Who “Quit” Because the Jets are Having a Bad Season

New York Jets super fan, Fireman Ed, has written his letter of resignation.  The problem is not many people know what he is retiring from.  This is a man who dons a fireman’s hat and a Jets jersey and “leads” the Jets faithful in what he calls “the greatest chant in all of sports”.  I am willing to bet that the chant will still be there, with or without him, and it will suck just as much as it does now.  Well, since Fireman Ed has written a letter, I figured I would write him one.  He doesn’t know how good he has it.


Dear Ed,

I am a proud Cleveland Browns fans.  You know how hard that is?  You seem like you have some football knowledge, so all I should have to do is mention terms like “Red Right 88”, “The Drive” or “The Fumble” and you should be able to nod your head letting me know you understand.  But you don’t understand.  You are whining about people being mean to you and you don’t want to lead the chant anymore, but what if there were no fans, no stadium, no team?  What would you do then?  You will never see a Browns fan “resign” from leading their fan base, even if their “leadership” is a mental mirage like yours.  You know why?  Because we don’t take our team for granted.

Yes, the Browns may stink.  They may suck at drafting and cannot scout a quarterback to save their lives but you know what? We are happier than a pig in shit to have a place to go and a team to watch.  You sir, are nothing but an attention whore.  Perhaps your angle is to take heat off the team and let the NY Post rip on you, which I hope to God they do.  Your quarterback, which you blame in part for people being mean to you (change the jersey, idiot), is the same kid who came into the league and took you to 2 straight AFC Championships. TWO. You may not have won, but isn’t the post season in the NFL fun?!  Seriously, answer the question.  I’m a Browns fan, remember?  We haven’t been to an AFC Championship since 1989 and in case your math is as elementary as your spelling, that is 23 years.  You need tissues and you are 2 years removed from the AFC Championship!

Maybe you should resign all together.  You say you are still going to go to the games but will do so without your hard hat and without “leading” the chant.  This move will only make you a quitter and a Debbie Downer.  If you have ever seen Major League II, you would be like the Johnny (Randy Quaid) of the Jets fans.  That’s right, Eddie, they made MOVIES about the pitiful Cleveland sports scene.

What are you going to do now, Eddie?  You can’t go back and say “Oh, never mind, I’m back”.  You have turned your back on your team when they are at their worst but you were cheering like a frat boy on MDMA when they were winning.  You had their back when they made the playoffs but you resign from cheering when they are shitty.  You know what that is called?  It’s called being a fair weather fan and that is the worst kind of fan you could possibly be.

Do yourself and the Jets fans that have to sit by you a favor and sell your tickets.  Move your seats to a different section and see what happens.  Do you think the “J-E-T-S” chant is getting retired with you?  Do you think all those Jets fans can’t possibly spell that four letter word without your guidance?  Think again.  They will be there, they will chant and they won’t miss your ass because no one ever misses a quitter.  You turned your back on them and I hope they turn theirs on you.  Good luck going to your next game.  If you thought people were being mean to you before, you better wear riot gear this time my friend.

Good luck,


Every bit of that letter is true.  He is being a fair weather fan and turning his back on the fans and the team.  I can only hope that if he does want to bring Fireman Ed back, he is turned away and disowned.  Have some pride, Jets fans, and leave Fireman Ed in the dust.

Also, I know there are plenty of fans of different franchises in the NFL that could write a similar letter to Eddie and I absolutely encourage you to do so.

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