The 11 Biggest A-holes in movies for 11/11/11

It’s 11/11/11 and in sticking with the numerical theme, we decided to put together a nice list.  We know there are way more than 11 assholes from motion pictures and we encourage you to tell us who we missed in the comment section.  We don’t read that anyway.  Anyways, below you will find the characters, who played them and brief description along with a memorable quote.  Enjoy, assholes.

mama-fratelli211. The Fratelli Family – The Goonies
Played By: Joe Pantoliano, Robert Davi, and Anne Ramsey
– What further proof would you need of how terrible a family is that they would attempt to kidnap, kill, and torture kids who were just looking for some buried treasure? Well this family was also into burgulary, shoot outs with the cops, and chaining up their giant ugly son in a basement. This was a family that literally pulled guns on each other over pizza toppings.

Memorable Quote: “No! I only dropped you once. Well, maybe twice.”

hans_gruber10. Hans Gruber- Die Hard
Played by: Alan Rickman
– I’ve been to company office parties, and only a special kind of asshole would go out of his way to ruin one. It takes a really exceptional asshole to also do it on Christmas!

Memorable quote: “I am an exceptional thief, Mrs Mclane.”

bud-kilmer9. Coach Bud Kilmer – Varsity Blues
Played by: Jon Voight
– Bud Kilmer brought the Coyotes 2 state titles and 22 district championships. If you ask me the guy was a serious underachiever. With the amount of talent coming out of West Canaan, he should have produced more than that. The guy was a racsist asshole who didnt care for his players. Calling them fat, dumb, and willing to stick needles in their knees just to get a win.

Memorable Quote: “Your Daddy was a no talent pussy, but at least he listened!”

jabba-the-hutt8. Jabba the Hutt – Return of the Jedi
– A long long time ago in a galaxy far away… Their was an intergallactic gangster and giant asshole. What kind of guy has a problem with Hans Solo? Big time dick, although his keen sense for women’s fashion was apparent from that little number he made Princess Leia wear. And it lives on today, worn by hot geeky chicks every year at Comic-Cons across the country.

Memorable quote: the odd noises he makes as he’s choked to death by Leia.

hartman017. Gny. Sgt. Hartman – Full Metal Jacket
Played By: R. Lee Ermy
– Certainly the most quotable and hilarious of all the assholes on this list. But cannot be ignored for how terrible it must of been to actually serve under such a ruthless asshole.

Memorable Quote: Just watch all of his screen time. It’s fantastic.

Neidermeyer6. Neidermyer- Animal House
Played By: Mark Metcalf
– Anyone who’s been to college or has even just spent a little time in a college bar, in a college town, knows or could at least point out a fraternity douchebag. The kind of guy who litterally only has friends because he’s part of their club. Neidermyer was that douche, and I’m glad his own men killed him in ‘Nam.

Memorable Quote: “Is that a pledge pin? On your uniform!”

obannion5. Fred O’Bannion – Dazed and Confused
Played By: Ben Affleck
– Not to be out done, EVERYBODY knows that douchebag from High School that everybody hated. None more of an asshole than Fred, who failed his senior year, just so he could come back and be an asshole some more.

Memorable Quote: “You guys hear this little dickheads Mom, pulled a shotgun on me?”

chet4. Chet Donnelly – Weird Science
Played By: Bill Paxton
-The meanest, assholyest older brother of all time. Chet showed no mercy in his ability to always be an asshole in every situation.

Memorable Quote: “I’m gonna tell Mom and Dad everything. I’m even considering making up some shit.”

doylehargraves3. Doyle Hargraves – Sling Blade
Played By: Dwight Yoakam
– Without a doubt the most inappropriate and lousy human being on the list. Doyle is the trifecta of terrible… Alcoholic, rac
ist/bigot, and physically abusive. He also played in the worst garage/front porch band of all time.

Memorable Quote: “Hey is this the kind of retard that drools and rubs shit in his hair and all that?  Cause I’m gonna have a hard time eatin round that kind of thing. Just like I am with antique furniture and midgits. You know that, I can’t even as much drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture.”

bifftannen2. Biff Tannen – Back to the Future
Played By: Tom Wilson
– Ok, we’ve all seen the movie. Biff’s an asshole, and very deserving of being this high. Here’s what we need to discuss… Before Marty goes back to 1985 we see the scene where George knocks out Biff, and wins the love of Lorraine. Then in the future we see that Biff has become the mechanic and handy man for the McFly’s. When George went to hire a guy to do all this work around his house and family, why the hell would he hire the guy who tried to rape his wife, in the parking lot of the Enchanted Under the Sea Dance?!?!

Memorable Quote: “So why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?”

kinglongshanks1. King Longshanks – Braveheart
Played By: Patrick McGoohan
– #1 ranked, undisputed pound for pound champion of the assholes. Every scene, every movement, and every piece of dialog by this man screams asshole!  The guy kills the lover of his “sissy” son. Hates Scots so much he starts Prima Nocte because “if he can’t get them out, he’ll breed them out.”, fires arrows into a battle with his own men, cause “they’ll hit them (the enemy) too.”

Memorable Quote: “Arrows cost money. Use up the Irish. The dead cost nothing.”

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