1.) You’re over 40 and you look normal with one.
2.) You lost a bet.
3.) You are creepy by nature and, therefore, need a mustache.
4.) It’s Movember.
Anything other than one of those explanations is pretty much BS. On the other hand, not having a mustache but wearing a fake one is about 8 to 10 times cooler. If you do not have a fake one handy, you can always draw one on the inside of your index finger and simply place said finger across your upper lip to give the illusion that you have a dick broom.
Now let’s take that concept one step further. Carstache is a company that realizes the hilarity in fake mustaches but also realizes the hilarity and shock value of having a mustache on your car. Yes, you read that right.
Carstache has 7 different color mouth brows for your ride with each costing $39 plus shipping. The description of their product on the website might be the best I’ve heard for any product. Ever.
“With a Carstache you’re guaranteed FREE BEER, HOT DOGS, and HIGH FIVES! Channel the power of true American Legends.One ‘stache to rule them all…”
“…Your first Carstache feels like your first kiss, cold beer, snow cone, and slow dance. It’s glorious!” “So strap a ‘stache, buckle up, and enjoy the ride!”
***Thanks to Nikki for the heads up on the Carstache!***