Esquire gives you other options to kill yourself this holiday season

Everyone knows the holidays can be depressing and sometimes people often entertain the thought of suicide to escape the pain.  The good people at Esquire took the liberty of making the execution of a suicide attempt go off without a hitch.  They have come up with a list of different over the counter products that, when consumed in mass, can kill you from an overdose of caffeine.  With the news of Four Loko being banned in multiple states for it's dangerous mixture of alcohol and caffeine, we knew it was only a matter of time before someone did the math.  The most dangerous and viable option would probably be the 36 shots of 5 hour energy or the 25 pills of Dexitrim.  However 65 gallons of chocolate milk seems like a stretch.  At that point, wouldn't the sheer volume kill you rather than the caffeine?



• 24 cans (23.5 oz. each) of Four Loko
• 108 cans of Coke Zero
• 36 shots of 5 Hour Energy (2 oz. each)
• 71 eight-ounce cups of Ben and Jerry's Fair Trade Coffee Ice Cream
• 33 packets of Perky Jerky (beef jerky infused with guarana)
• 28 Starbucks Grande Cafe Mochas
• 91 pieces of Blitz Energy Gum
• 25 Dexatrim pills
• 50 No-Doz Pills
• 227 cans of Diet A&W Cream Soda
• 138 six-ounce tubs of Dannon Coffee Yogurt
• 5,000 Hershey's Kisses
• 833 full-size Kit Kat bars (42 g)
• 50 Uber Cubes (caffeine-infused chocolate chew)
• 333 Zingos mints (caffeinated breath mints)
• 65 gallons of chocolate milk.


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