If you haven’t heard yet, Roger Goodell dropped the hammer on the New Orleans Saints organization for their role in the bounty program which paid players to “take out” or injure opposing players. He came out swinging by indefinitely suspending former Defensive Coordinator and current DC of the Rams, Gregg Williams. He wasn’t done after he had finished with Williams, however. He then put Sean Payton in his cross-hairs and fired away, suspending the head coach for the entire year.
Since these are unprecedented and, according to some, extremely hard punishments, we decided to look at some of the outlandish suspensions little Roger Goodell handed down during his youth. You can see from an early age he wasn’t about to take shit from anyone or anything.
1. Easter 1962:
Goodell’s cousin David bends his Slinky. Roger fines him 55 jelly beans. An appeal offer from David of one Cadbury egg is laughed at and denied.
2. Summer 1966:
Goodell suspended his doctor’s medical licences for 6 weeks after he was misdiagnosed with chicken pox, which turned out to be just a couple dozen mosquito bites.
3. Fall 1976:
While at Bronxville High School an extremely gifted trombone player named Bill Stewart inadvertently hit Goodell in the head with his trombone slide. Goodell suspends Stewart indefinitely for the head contact. 35 years have past and Goodell has never lifted the ban, effectively silencing the man who would have been the Kenny G of the trombone.
4. Winter 1981:
When Goodell was a senior at Washington and Jefferson College he was dating a sophomore girl. One night during a phone conversation, the young lady forgot to call Goodell back after she ended their phone conversation early to answer a call waiting from her mother. Goodell fined her 5 date nights, 6 back rubs, and no longer had to accompany her to her cousins wedding involving the weird side of her family.
5. Spring 1983:
While on vacation, in Indiana Goodell stepped in a rain puddle. Which ruined a pair of Italian leather sandals given to him by his grandmother. Goodell suspended all rain clouds in the entire region for 5 months. Leading to the terrible and fatal Midwestern States Drought, in the Summer of 1983.
DiNunz is a regular contributor to Thunder Treats. Follow him on Twitter @DiNunz