36 Thing We Are NOT Thankful for this Thanksgiving

helpIt’s that time of year again.  Time to see all those faces you intentionally avoided for the 11 and half months since Christmas.  Thanksgiving is a time of year to be with family and reflect on what you are thankful for.  Since most of our families often shake their heads at us with disapproving grins because they know we partied hard on Wednesday night we will not be reflecting on what we are thankful for but rather what we are NOT thankful for.  For instance, I know my parents are not thankful for last year at this time when I came home at 3AM, melted sugar cookies in the microwave, fired up the oven to 400 and then promptly passed out with no pants on in the living room.  For what its worth, I tried to convince my parents that I was pre-heating the oven for them.  No dice.

Anyway, listed below is a collaboration from both Thunder Treats and its readers of things we are NOT thankful for this Thanksgiving.

– We’re not thankful for “Tebowing” and the countless hours spent every day on ESPN discussing it, over and over and over…

– We’re not thankful for the addicting smart phone game apps like Fruit Ninja, Monkey Blast, and all 3 different versions of Angry Birds that cause serious time consuming procrastination

– We’re not thankful for fantasy football adding to the misery I experience from the crappyness my reality NFL football team provides me each year.

– We’re not thankful that Demi Moore will be spending Thanksgiving alone. (although 13 year old me woulddemi1 like to thank her for her work in Striptease)

– We’re not thankful that our VHS copy of Striptease no longer works, after countless rewind, pause, slow mo sessions

– We’re not thankful that we still have a VHS and no one has bought us a Blue Ray

– We’re not thankful that a Twilight movie can make $140 million dollars in an opening weekend, while this post, on this blog, will provide ten times the entertainment value but will not generate much more than a buck.

– We’re not thankful for Jerry Sandusky

– We’re not thankful for Twitter allowing us only 140 characters to tweet thus making me reduce my rants and use “u” and “ur” and removing necessary f-words.

– We’re not thankful for the negotiation skills of the NBA, the Owners and the Players…well some of us care, others not so much.

– We’re not thankful for Kim Kardashian or her behemoth sister.  The other short one is ok though.

– We’re not thankful for MTV programming.  Jersey Shore is a waste of time and Beavis and Butthead is an unoriginal reboot that doesn’t make people laugh. <- Someone had to say it.

– We’re not thankful for close ups during a Duke basketball game.  They have the ugliest players I have ever seen.  No homo.

– We’re not thankful for Jennifer Love Hewitt ignoring our blatant attempt to notice us (BobsBlitz and Jerod from MidwestSportsFans)

– We’re not thankful for toolbags that will wear their State Championship rings out tonight and want to talk about the glory days.

– We’re not thankful for the DUI checkpoints that will be splattered all over the map tonight.

– We’re not thankful for Peyton Hillis and his hamstring.

– We’re not thankful for Justin Timberlake’s decision to make Bad Teacher (worst of all time)

– We’re not thankful for the site blockers that do not let people enjoy Thunder Treats while they are at work.

– We’re not thankful for the size of Merill Hoge’s knot in his neck tie.  It’s wider than his head.merill

– We’re not thankful for Chris Johnson crapping up a storm on Fantasy teams this year.

– We’re not thankful for the BCS…or at least how its run…or I guess, who runs it…

– We’re not thankful for the day after getting hammered on Christmas Ale…also not thankful for it being such an expensive binge.

– We’re not thankful for many people who will remain nameless that spew uneducated garbage when trying to have an argument.  Read the news, get your facts straight, then come talk to me.

– We’re not thankful for Phillip Rivers idea of who his receivers are and who the defenders are.

– We’re not thankful for police Occupying people’s faces with mace.

– We’re not thankful for Dana Jacobson or Linda Cohn

– We’re not thankful for Justin Tuck and Michael Strahan’s Subway commercials

– We’re not thankful for school zones…except today because the kids are out of school.

– We’re not thankful for Vevo on YouTube. That shit takes forever to load.

– We’re not thankful for people who dress their babies as animals and their animals like babies.

– We’re not thankful for Ryan Seacrest. Period.

– We’re not thankful for Nickelback.

– We’re not thankful for Canada…who has Thanksgiving in October?

– We’re not thankful for vanity license plates – Get out of my way “2cute4u”, you may be cute but you drive like shit.

– We’re not thankful for the NBA being locked out…wait…wrong list.

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