Dancing with the D-list

I was told this morning that they announced the Dancing with the Nobodies Stars contestants. I immediately got to work trying to figure out what I hated more, Dancing with the F*cktards Stars or Hines Ward. It’s a toss up really. I have never, ever, watched an episode of this program, even when Erin Andrews was dropping it like it was hot. That is really saying something too because I am a TV junky. I watch everything. I’m serious, I DVR upwards of 30 shows per week, so it is a safe bet that if I am not watching it, it sucks ass. The producers of this “hit” show seem to have dropped the ball. If I were a fan of this show, I would probably not watch any of this season…at all.   Who are these people? Yes, some of them we know but be honest, do you really want to see them try to dance? Below is the list of the cast for the upcoming season.

Kirstie Alley
– She’s a tank and hasn’t been relavant, or skinny, since Look Who’s Talking…not Too or Now…the first one.

Hines Ward – If you’re a Steelers fan then I guess you are happy. Although, if you are a Steelers fan you don’t have to worry about watching because odds are you either don’t have a TV in your trailer or don’t have enough tin foil to get good reception.

Sugar Ray Leonard – Yes, he was one of the best boxers of all time and would be a great addition to this show if it was held in the late 70’s. Put him out on the street and let me know how many people recognize him. Star? No.

Wendy Williams – All I know about this broad is that she has a big mouth, buge hoobs and wears wigs. Sounds like A-list to me. Please.

Chelsea Kane – No idea. The only way this chick would be close to being a star is if she was the wife of Joe Kane, former star quarterback of the ESU Timberwolves…if you don’t get that reference, you can leave.

Ralph Macchio – The Karate Kid was cool but the only reason to go with Macchio is because Mr. Miyagi is dead.  I also give him credit for The Outsiders.

Chris Jericho – I honestly thought he was dead.

Petra Nemcova – The only Petra I know is in downtown Youngstown, Ohio. Nice place, you can get your groceries inside and crack rocks outside. Charlie Sheen would love it. As for this Petra, apparently she survived a tsunami and is hot. I am sure there are about 6 million other people that could have filled this spot. Star? Absolutely not.

Psycho Matt Catherwood – Who? This asshat is a host of Love Line radio show…RADIO. I would really rather they have Cuba Gooding Jr. on the show but in the full character of “Radio” each week.  I don’t know about you, but it sure feels like one of the producers lost a bet.

Lil’ Romeo – HAHAHAHA. Oh my God. First of all, it’s just Romeo now. Just like Bow Wow dropped the Lil’ and just like I stopped using Lil’ DiLo after 6th grade. I haven’t heard of him since he was the “R..O..M-E-O, after high school, I’m going straight to the pros”. How’s that working out? Is it like dat-woah-dat?

Kendra Wilkinson – Bucket? Basket? Is she even still married to that mediocre football player that blew the Super Bowl for the Colts in 2010? She does have a sex tape and it is with a rather portly man, so I guess I have to give her props for that. If I’m being honest, I’d watch if she danced naked.

The only thing I really really want to know is who came up with this cast? I want to meet the brain trust that sat at a conference table and said “ya know what, I think this is a really good ensemble”. I imagine it is the same braindead group that came up with the new ad campaign and song for Arby’s. Thank you to ABC for making this unwatchable again, I really didn’t have time to add this to my DVR lineup. Also, could please change the name? You are really deceiving people by calling these people “stars”.

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