The second round of brutally cold weather is in the process of moving through the Midwest and Northeast part of the country and, while used to it, some people just aren’t prepared for what sub-zero temperatures and several inches of snow will do to their late night, drunken cravings. A person posting to Craigslist in Baltimore got hammered drunk and, like so many of us, craved a small piece heaven from Taco Bell. The only problem was that he/she had a “shitty little hybrid douche mobile” and it would not be able to make the trip in the current conditions. So they did the only logical thing, reached out on Craigslist to see if anyone wanted to give them a ride.
Guys it’s snowing like a bitch outside, I’ve had a few drinks too many, and my shitty little hybrid douche mobile can’t possibly make it to the neighborhood Taco Bell in this weather. I need someone with a 4 wheel drive vehicle to come pick my drunk ass up, take me the Taco Bell drive-thru, and drive me back home. Then we can hang out and play video games if you’re not a rapist. This is maybe a 2 miles round trip. I’ll pay in tacos. Or chalupas. Whatever. Seriously my desire for tacos right now is totally unmanageable, so I’d probably even buy you a 7 layer burrito if you asked nicely.
The payment for services might be the best part. They may have had better luck if they offered a couple of the new Grilled Stuft Nachos. Mmmm.