Realigning the NFL Divisions

Why? Because the lockout is sucking the NFL spirit from the collective chests of the fans who make it the most profitable and popular sport in this country. THAT’S WHY.

Also, people are tired of reading about the lockout and when it will or won’t end. So we figured, why not have some fun and switch around the divisions.  Obviously this isn’t a serious realignment article, it’s meant to be funny.  If you are going to comment on how it “would never work” then save your keystrokes for your porn chat.  Enjoy.

Four Corners a.k.a. Screw the Gas Prices Division

Miami Dolphins
New York Jets
San Diego Chargers
Seattle Seahawks

– This division is definitely impractical but if Louisiana Tech can play in the WAC, then I think these guys can swing a little travel.

Somebody Has Got to Win Division
Cleveland Browns
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Detroit Lions
Cincinnati Bengals

– The best part of this division is that 2 of the 4 teams are already in the same division!  I don’t know if that is funny or sad…

Birds Division
Arizona Cardinals
Philadelphia Eagles
Baltimore Ravens
Atlanta Falcons

– Alfred Hitchcock would love this division and who could blame him?  It will be very competitive, even more so if Arizona finds someone to throw the ball.

Animal Crackers Packers Division
Indianapolis Colts
Denver Broncos
Buffalo Bills
Green Bay Packers

– Sure, the cheese probably wouldn’t make a great Animal Cracker, but the Packers won the Super Bowl so they can f*cking deal with it.

Cowboys and Indians Division
Kansas City Cheifs
Washington Redskins
Houston Texans
Dallas Cowboys

– Jerry Jones now has the largest and most modern saloon in the Wild West.

Zoo Division
Jacksonville Jaguars
St. Louis Rams
Carolina Panthers
Chicago Bears

– This is awesome, I didn’t even know they still had a team in Carolina!

People Division
New England Patriots
Minnesota Vikings
San Francisco 49ers
Oakland Raiders

– Looks like the Patriots will continue to make the post season, with or without Brady.  Hell, in this division, even Mallet could get them there.

Super Hero Division
New Orleans Saints
New York Giants
Tennessee Titans
Pittsburgh Steelers

– Anyone but Pittsburgh.

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