After watching the UNC vs. Duke game last night, I came to the conclusion that ESPN really does suck. Believe it or not, I’m not even upset about Dick Vitale’s renob when he calls a Duke game. I actually think he was blowing UNC last night as much if not more than Duke, but I digress. No, the reason I want ESPN to taste a big fat dog fart is because of the worst creation since this: the NCAAM Alerts. For anyone who doesn’t know what I am speaking of, the NCAAM Alert pops up periodically in bright red at the bottom of the TV screen during ESPN college basketball broadcasts to update viewers of major upsets and news as it breaks. Last night the brilliant programmers at ESPN came up with this gem: NCCAM Alert: #2 Oklahoma leads Baylor 5-4 with 15:55 remaining in the first half. Seriously?!?! Why on earth would anyone care that the #2 team in the country is beating an unranked Baylor team with the entire game still to play. I understand if Coastal Carolina is beating #1 ranked UCONN by 34 points with 8 seconds to play. That is something I want to be alerted about. Also appropriate for an alert would be Breaking News: Erin Andrews to jello-wrestle Leryn Franco at halftime. But please do not update your viewers about stupid scores with 35 minutes left on the clock. Keep it up ESPN and the next Alert you read will be Breaking News: Thunder Nation takes enormous dump on ESPN.